lol.

I never thought about it that way.

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LOL.

I know how you feel.

Sometimes when my boyfriend starts playing I think the house could be burning down and he wouldn't notice until it ignited the television. 

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I agree with your statement "parenting is the hardest job I've ever had." It is 100% true. Not only are you responsible for every facet of your childrens' care but you are socially accountable to what kind of person they grow into. As a parent myself, I always wonder if all the rights and wrongs that I have tried to instill in my children will manifest as they turn into adults. I believe that I am a good and just individual and hope that my children are the same! The road isn't always easy though, as I have found out first hand with the early departure of my oldest son.

Walking is an excellent way to get rid of those extra pounds. Take advantage of the sunshine and have a wee walk with the baby. Good for all parties involved!!

I think you and your husband should take a weekend to just clean the house. Maybe get some other family members involved. Since you also work, you and your husband should split up the chores. Maybe make yourselves a chart.

I have a cursing problem too and a baby on the way. I really gotta try to stop that. I've had it since I was able to talk though.

I think you should just be straight with your MIL but polite...just tell her you aren't up for company. Maybe get caller ID so you won't have to answer her calls all the time. Or just don't answer the phone. I have been straight with me MIL from the beginning. She told me when I have the baby she is going to be right there with me. I told her she wasn't going to be in the room when I was actually delivering.

Just try to get yourself together. You know, some times if you aren't in good physical shape that can be a factor in not being able to get pregnant. You should really try to start exercising. You don't have to go to a gym. I bet if you started eating and exercising better you would feel better physically and mentally..making you want to do things like clean the house, and I bet it would better your chances of getting pregnant, and you would probably have less complications.

I hope you get can get motivated. I am having a baby soon and I know how damn hard its going to be. But your daughter will be in preschool soon won't she?

Wow I felt like I was reading an entry I wrote.  I got married at 22 as well and a month later we were pregnant w/my daughter.  We are also talking about having another child.  I have also struggled w/my self esteem since being pregnant...I was a size 3 when my husband and I got together and gained 68lbs while pregnant.  I was so depressed.  I don't think you can ever be prepared for the life of being a mother.  I think we all do the best we can.  I am also very lazy when it comes to cleaning the house.  I usually only really clean if I know we are having company...

The only thing I would say about your entry was your comments about your pros & cons.  When you were listing the cons you were talking about yourself and your weight, temper, cleaning etc.  But when you listed your pros about yourself you were talking more about your life not yourself.  You should think about the person you are and what you like about youself.  Your daughter and husband bring so much joy to yourself which is great but you also need to love yourself too.  If gaining 70lbs upsets you set a goal for yourself to lose 10 here and there (something reasonable and within reach).  That would be knocking down 2 of your cons at once (weight & goals).  Well all in all please know you are not alone...I feel a lot of your feelings and wish I could get out of this hole.

Thanks for the comment. Oddly enough, I've considered doing just that or maybe warming him up a bit and then telling him I'm not in the mood. Might be a bit cruel though. I've also considered treating him little better than a dog but I like animals too much and I'd just spoil him.

I hope your quest to have a second child works out. I wouldn't feel too badly about not spending time with your daughter. If you love your child then that will be enough, especially since some children don't even get that. You're working to provide your child with the best possible life you can offer so, instead of thinking of not working to be a better mother, maybe you could think of all the things you are able to provide her that she otherwise wouldn't have. x

Well let me tell you a story about my girlfriend Kel.  Her and her husband finally decided to try to have a baby.  They were a normal 35 year old healthy couple who'd been married 3 years.  They tried everything and could not seem to get pregnant.  They got tested and turns out I guess it was his swimmers but there were going to try some test that of course was not covered by insurance and it was a down payment of $1000.00 to start and would end up costing over $5,000.00.  This was all not guaranteed mind you.  Well she set up the appointment and a few days before she felt really sick.  She ended up getting pregnant on her own and it took over a year.  I'm not sure what they are telling you but sometimes when you are not trying so hard, it happens.  Be thankful you have a daughter now even if it's your only child.  Everyone could be a better mother/person if they tried.  I know exactly how you feel when you come home from work.  I have a probably lately w/motivation.  But you have to push through and spend a little extra time w/your kids.  Once they grow up, they are gone.  They grow too fast.  If you can't have another baby naturally you can always think about adopting...My husband and I are contemplating another baby...like you said this economy is so horrible, I wonder if we will be able to get by.
Jam

Wow...I had kinda the same relationship with my father.  He left when I was in 1st grade and only saw him a few times until I got into 8th grade.  He lived in another state.  When I got engaged I was so happy b/c he was going to walk me down the aisle.  Well I called him a year before my wedding and he says he doesn't think he can get off work.  I was like WTF it's a year away...he tells me he only gets off when his work closes...ei...christmas...he was a truck driver...so I was so upset....I refused to call him, blah blah..at my wedding my stepfather (who I consider dad) walked me.  My real dad's relatives were there and as a joke we (including my sister) took a picture flicking him off (as a joke).  A year later I had a baby and he actually made his way down to see her when she was a year old.  My dad ended up getting diabetes and didn't take care of himself.  He got really sick 2 1/2 years ago and my sis and I went to see him.  A year later we were at his bedside and he died within 2 weeks.  I guess the point of my ramblings are..no matter how often you see your dad or talk to him, he's always your dad.  The love you have for them is undeniable.  No matter how often I got mad at my dad, I couldn't stay mad at him.  Now, he's gone and I miss him so much.  I'm sorry about the ramblings and I hope you get the closure you need....as mine will never happen.
Jam

I know how you feel. My BSD (stands for Biological Sperm Donor & Bull sh*t Dad) didn't want to pay child support, so he only saw me once after I was born. My mom told him that she didn't want anything from him, and that he could see me whenever he wanted without financial obligation. But he chose to stay away. I've always wondered what it would be like to meet him. To throw my successes in his face. To tell him that my stepdad is my hero and my friend. To show him what he missed out on. I'm planning on sending him my wedding photo this fall.

I don't really have advice. Just empathy. I'm sorry that there are more people like me who have BSDs.